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Another one that comes to mind was when we were on a game drive while staying at Tinga in Kruger and had just been seriously charged by a very irate female ellie!
The ranger has screamed and yelled himself hoarse at her to try and get her to stop the charge and the tracker sitting on the jump seat in the front had clapped his hands.
The ranger told him he should have also shouted to add to his voice.
At this stage there was deathly silence in the truck from all of us when suddenly this little quavering voice from the back pipes up, Yes, you shout, we can all do the clapping very well!
Well! everyone just burst out laughing, but more in relief than anything else I suspect.

On the same drive I mentioned before The lion was still roaring his dissatisfaction (not only with the Elephant... but his "ladies" has missed a kill earlier.) When we stopped, and all peered into the darkness The driver announced "Sorry we have a puncture You must all get out" The same voice from the back said You're joking there is a lion out there"

We took a night drive from Shingwedzi - four of us and one middle aged guy from a North American country.
He immediately jumped into the front seat next to the guide declaring quite seriously that he could keep an eye on the gun because he was an experienced ranger back home! Off we went and he felt the need to tell the driver loudly what he was doing in Africa etc etc. (working with govt. environmental agencies, very important yada yada) Holds forth on all manner of things before getting quiet for a bit. Then he asks out of the blue, 'So when does it snow here?'

I am loving this -

Those North American "countries"

Here's one that had me - seasoned game spotter
nervous. We came in @ Malelane and were just leaving afsaal when we spotted him (below)

and his 2 friends - My friend pull the car so that her 3 year old could get a good look. I then observe that all the animal foot paths converge into one and reach the tar in line with right about where I am sitting.
I clamly inform said friend that we need to move as elephants are now starting to move and heading for me so to speak. Does she do anything?
No.
Then elephant in picture, leading the pack, started flapping ears and blowing air through his trunck
I shout: 'move now!'
She takes off and looking in the rear view mirror - where do the ellies cross the road.....
Yip exactly where our car was!

I think I know that spot well, was there a waterhole on the opposite of the road where they were heading?
We had almost the exact reaction and that was where I learnt that Ellies insist on crossing on the beaten track and not anywhere else.

Yip Elsa that is the spot!

I have posted this before......but once had an American couple with us for a few activities. She was very proud of being an ecology professor over here to give a lecture at a conference and made sure she let everyone know, and also that they had been over several times before already.....! But her questions included 'what is that animal?' (an impala!!!!!!), and 'do you have any bears?' I struggled (but did succeed) to contain my laughs!

And yes.....on several trip I have been asked about what we feed the animals, and where we put them at night! All completely serious questions too, and not only from overseas visitors.... One person even began to argue with me that we were wrong to leave the animals to fend for themselves with regard to food.

SO and I were driving from Maroela camp to Orpen early one morning. The next moment out of nowhere a spurfowl that was chased by another one ran from the veld right in front of the Jeep. It happened so fast that I had no time of trying to warn SO as they came from my side. In the rear view mirror he could see the feathered creature lying in the road. He sadly proclaimed that he had hit the poor bird. Although I knew that he could not have helped it I sat rather 'dikbek' (mouth blown up) until we got to Orpen. As we headed to Satara after buying some stuff we had to pass the spurfowl again. In my heart I hoped that it was hit lightly and was just out for a moment. I really hoped it got up and was back in the veld again. Needless to say, it was still lying in the road, dead.... There was quite a damper on the rest of the day.

Two, three days later it was my turn driving a bit. Everytime I got near a bird that was on the road, SO would say..."hit that bird!" Although I knew he was only joking I was getting fed up with the constant remarks and once replied" If you think me hitting a bird after you had run over one would make you feel better, it won't!" On which he replied..." You know what? The moment I hit that bird it felt as if the whole Krugerpark's eyes was on me." (There was nobody that saw it happen) I then realised just how much the incident bothered him...

eco junkie - hee hee! Amazing! you should have told them we are building a number of"Noahs Arks" to house them at night! Its just taking time.
Really!!!

I remember someone asking when they dipped the animals as they were worried about the number of ticks they had seen on them.

One conversation we have frequently goes like this:

SO: What's that interesting looking bird up there?
Me: It's a dove.
SO: No that one on top of the tree.
Me: It's a dove.
SO: Are you sure?
Me: It's a dove.
SO: It can't be.
Me: It's a dove.
SO: Oh it's only a dove.

I am really loving these posts

When guiding a few years back I was asked some rather dumb questions by guests ,

One incident

Me: discussing bird’s migration etc.
Guest: Sorry but I'm confused
Me: In what regard sir
Guest: Earlier you spoke about the park having electric fences etc. (we had discussed the Kruger outer fences)
Me: yes sir
Guest: Ok but now, you speak about bird migration
Me: yes
Guest: Ok, so how do the birds get out?
Me: Sir they fly
Guest: oh off course silly me

Richman, I hope the guest had the decency to at least

There is, of course, the photographer's dance :

SO: Forward just a bit..............too much, back a bit, STOP.
ME: Can I switch off?
(Silence for a couple of seconds then rapid "machine gun" fire - then more silence)
SO: Why haven't you turned the engine off?
(Another period of silence)
SO: Quick, reverse to the other side of road and turn to the right
ME: There's someone behind us.
SO: Tell him to move - I'm going to miss that bird.


Etc, etc, etc

Richman
Love these post everyone please keep them coming!